Date: Thursday 15th October 2026
Euro session: 19:00 BST
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Well, well, well... you made it back! We weren’t sure you would after last week’s session. Some of you were walking funny, or “needed a minute.” We respect that, but the set isn’t finished, and neither are we.
This is the final stretch, and it’s the deep end. We’ve been teasing you through the first 43 maps, and now we’re going all the way in. The last nineteen maps were written with the lights off, and nobody pulls out early. Expect more tight spots with no room to move, and a few hard thrusts through the narrow bits. Some maps will take their time with you... they’ll make you squirm. If you find a berserk pack, remember: bare-handed, with a tight grip, pound everything until it’s a wet, quivering heap of squishy bits. It’s hands-on, it’s messy, and good things come to those who wait (and bleed all over the carpet).
Be sure to come prepared and well lubricated (your mouse... we mean your mouse). Bring that stamina, and try to last more than five minutes this time, because the join limit is the only thing here that is short. The rules? One life, no taking it out halfway, and no asking for “quick breaks” when things get intense. Your safe word is ALT+F4, and we will mock you for using it. If your fingers cramp, that’s between you and your keyboard. By map 60, expect to be a sweaty, trembling mess. Let’s all have a happy ending.
